Friday, February 25, 2011

To my single mom friends

I have a few people in my life I'm very close with who are (or where at one point) single moms. Some have been doing it on their own since the child was born and others are divorced or separated and the dad isn't very "hands on." Either way its the hardest job in the world and for the most part pretty thankless. Its not often if at anytime you ll hear a child say hey mom thanks for doing my laundry, cleaning up my puke, cooking dinner, playing chauffeur, paying bills so I have a roof over my head, food in my belly and hot water to bathe; yet you all do it day after day because that's your are a mom. At some point and time Ive probably had your kids for the afternoon, a day, over night or a couple of nights and I can tell you its hard! Don't get me wrong...Ive always wanted to be a mom, have a family, 2 dogs, a home, a husband and all of those things we dream about as a child but I'm sure the vision we all had was one where we had a partner. More hands on deck then just our own.

I spend time with you and your child and watch as you handle each task that needs to be done. One after another; its never ending. You are go, go, go from the moment you get up till the child's in bed asleep. Even then most of you are still involved in some kind of laundry folding, lunch packing, toy picking up activity and let me tell you just watching you at times exhausts me! Over and over again day after day it never ends and Ive noticed as the kids get older it only gets harder. Yeah babies are hard work but lets look at a baby VS a 3 year old. Babies sleep a lot for the most part. They cant walk, crawl or run so where ever you lay them that's where they stay. They cant talk back, argue, yell at you or pout. Cuddle them, feed them, rock them and love them and for the most part they will be happy. A 3 year old is so much different. You defiantly cant leave them in a room alone without having to yell to them every 2 minuets to make sure they aren't flushing some object down a toilet, drawing on your walls or tourmenting the dog. They have opinions and wants...and boy do they always want something. They whine, yell, pout, cry and most of the time its for no reason yet there you all are again doing the job of 2 people on your own. You don't have the luxury of saying to your partner that you need a break, that you want a nap, or entertain the kid becasue I have to cook. You're there running a multi person company basically by yourself.

To top it off you all have full time jobs as well. Being a mom is a full time job yet you don't get a paycheck and somehow the bills need to get paid. We are adults...mommy and daddy aren't footing the bills. You find time to fit in laundry, cooking, cleaning, car pool, errands, shopping and somewhere somehow you all squeeze quality one on one time with your child into the mix.

You are my super hero's. You are all amazing women and phenomenal mothers. You take on the roles of mom, dad, nurse, maid, chef, not to mention the million other hats you wear. I see you doing a job that was intended for 2 people and yet you all do it as well if not better then some 2 parent house holds Ive been in. I look at your children. They are amazing, bright, funny, polite and sweet. Children do not come that way. They are taught those traits through good parenting and through the group of positive people you have let into their lives.

I have never once seen you put yourself before your kids. Tired, sick, stressed or annoyed you still show up day in and day out to make sure the one person you love most..your child feels happy, safe and most of all loved and wanted. I know some days are a lot harder and the challenges greater but know I believe in all of you. Ive watched you grow as women and mothers. Ive seen you learn each day and apply those skills to being the best you you can be. I love you and each of your children with all my heart and I know my life has been enriched to have you as a part of it.


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

My Favorite Things

Thought Id lighten the mood a bit and do a simple fun list of my favorite things..Kinda like Oprah's list however each of you aren't getting a car, ipod, camera, trip, whale, baby or anything else she may be able to get for you. I like to think of myself as a celebrity but lets face look at my pay check and you'll note I'm clearly no Oprah.

I also love to hear about new things to buy, websites to play on, shows to watch, places to shop feel free to comment and leave some of your faves too!

  • I love love LOVE feathered quilts. Ive had one since I was about 12 (different ones of course) and they are just like curling up on a cloud. I hate going new places that don't have one for me to sleep with so if its a trip longer then 2 nights I bring mine from home :-)

  • My sleep number bed and or a memory foam bed. I AM A BED SNOB. A whole trip can be ruined if the bed sucks. I mean how do you recover from a long day and wake up ready for a new one if you slept like shit? Beds are important people. I tried to make sure even my guest bed was comfy...Its called being considerate

  • Reality TV shows. I'm a sucker for anything that involves bitchy catty women, a good competition or just mindless smut. Some of my "cant miss" reality shows are...ANY & EVERY season of The Housewives; NY, OC, Beverly Hills, Atlanta, Jersey and now Miami...I love those women! Pawn Stars, Storage Wars, American pickers...these men crack me up and I really enjoy seeing someone pick through crap I don't have the balls to go looking through. I hate dirt, dust&bugs! Joan and Melissa...Mothers knows best. This is new and super cute. Joan Rivers is hysterical!!! Teen Mom 1&2, 16 and Pregnant (even though seeing 16 yr olds in that situation upsets me...I have to watch) Intervention, Hoarders, Pitt Boss, Pit Bulls and Parolees, Jersey Shore, Jerseylicious, Kamora etc...I love TV so this could go on all day

  • DVR...How did we live before DVR??? How did I ever get to watch all "my" shows? Man this device made my century!

  • GROUPON. seriously one of the BEST "deal" sites out there. They make so normal people can afford to do things they may otherwise not get to do.

  • Coffee...Coffee is key to me starting my day and at this point in my life yes its a vice and I need it to function.
  • Pit Bull rescues. I love everything pit bull. My Bella is 1/2 Pit and the best dog EVER! So sweet, loving, smart and loyal. As long as I live there will be a Pit in my house!
  • Riesling. I used to be a total red wine kinda girl but now this is my fave. plus no heart burn whoop whoop

  • anything for a baby girl. I love shopping for little girls. The things they have for them are so sweet and precious. plus anything pink is right up my alley

  • Chelsea Handler and Kathy Griffen. 2 funny ladies who always make me laugh. My mom and I got to see Kathy last year and I dont know if we've ever laughed so hard!

  • SUV's. I know their bad for the environment, carbon foot print blah blah blah but they are roomy, comfy on trips, get through snow and I like towering over other cars so an SUV will also always be a part of my adult life.

  • Gerber Daisy's...they are beautiful and I had them in my wedding.

  • black nail polish. Not "goth" style or anything but it just looks nice, matches everything and just like clothes do it makes the fingers look slimmer
  • Facebook...Keeps me updated, can picture stalk people, play games, fill people in on everything and anything at one time so I don't have to make 736352729 phone calls

  • Texting...what would a world without texting be like? I know we lived in it before but now its so common I just cant believe I had to pick up a phone just to say "running 5 mins late" or "pick up milk" therefor I have unlimited texting and average more then 3100 monthly...yes I'm proud of this :-)

  • Cards...I like giving them and getting them. They are a simple and sweet way to let someone know you're thinking of them...which leads me to....

  • Thank you notes...when you get a gift you give a thank you note PERIOD. Growing up the rule was "you cant spend it, wear it, play with it or eat it till a thank you note is written"

  • Farkle...Its a game you play with dice. You can play with a group of people or on the Internet (how I usually play) its a fast game so you can play whether you have 5mins or 5 hours
  • Kissing in the car. Its free, fun and romantic. I love when my husband leans over for no reason and just kisses me. Could be a soft peck or a passionate one like the kind when you are first dating and you realize theres chemistry and all you do is kiss. so sweet

  • I have this need to know whats going on all the time. Even if I don't know you I like to know. Call me nosey...I like to call it being considerate of those around you lol

  • Rice Krispy Treats Cereal. Its hard to find! I order it from and its cheaper anyway. Its awesome!!!

  • Off Broadway Plays. This is something Ive also turned the hubby onto. Some of our Faves are: Rock of Ages, RENT, Wicked, Young Frankenstein & Avenue Q. I think Its important to be cultured and we want to carry this over to our children as well

  • Museums...There are so many interesting things to look at and usually its free!

  • The Beach. I love the water!! Laying in the sand, being on a boat, playing in the waves...all of it is so relaxing and fun. I look forward to our family trips to The Outer Banks NC EVERY year. Whats better then being on vacation at a beautiful beach in an amazing house with people you love?!

  • 80's movies. I love everything 80's! Some of my faves and must see's for everyone are: Pretty in Pink, About Last Night, St Elmos Fire, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Back to the Future (but only 1&2), Claras heart, Teen Wolf, Ferris Buellers Day Off, Splash

  • Favorite movie of all time is probably Steel Magnolias "Well you know what they say; If you don't have anything nice to say come sit by me"

I think Ill keep this open as kinda a running list. Anytime I come across something I really love Ill add it in. Hope you all found a few things on here you never heard of and try it out!

Monday, February 21, 2011

To my ex; because you sir are a douche bag

We all have an ex. Theres not many of us that don't have an ex that we think of when we hear a song of someone who did someone wrong, or see a show where karma kicks in and the ex ends up dead and we think "huh why did this not happen to my ex?" I mean ex's are called an "ex" for a reason; because at some point you or that person decided they didn't want you in their life and that's the end of that. However this is a letter to my ex. A man so ruthless he makes the devil look like Pollyanna. A man who can lie and he does it so well he starts to believe them. A person who will hurt whoever he needs too to get what he wants. A disgusting, vile, pathetic use of DNA.

So for "blogging" sake lets call this guy "Gus" that's a good name for him...yeah Gus; because its in the word disGUSting which is what I feel when I see or hear of him. so here is my letter to Gus

Dear Gus,
I HATE YOU. I don't hate many people and to think of it besides child molesters, pedophiles and serial killers you re pretty much the only other "real" person I actually know that I hate...hate with a passion. I know life's to short to harbor hate for others and lets not make this into something its not. I don't think about you daily, I don't miss you or wonder what may have been, I don't care where you live, what you do, who you're with and why its not with me. I did a long long time ago...before I met the man who is now my husband but I look at him and all those questions were answered...God didn't see the need to punish me so he removed you from my life and brought my now husband in. I thought this letter was going to be longer. I thought Id have more to say or things to vent about. Yet I sit here and all I can think to say is THANK YOU. Thank you for being such an asshole, thank you for cheating, lying, stealing and breaking my heart. Thank you for the nights I waited up for you to come home only to be told a lie about where you really were. Thank you for the constant feeling of insecurity, that I wasn't good enough, pretty enough or smart enough. Thank you for all of these things. If it wasn't for you how would I have know exactly what I didn't want in a man. you tough me to spot out a loser and abuser because any man after you who displayed ANY trait you had I would not give a chance to. Because of you I found my husband. A real man..a man who has shown me everyday for almost 8 years what its like to be truly loved and appreciated. He tells me every day I'm smart, pretty, funny and worth it. Not that I need a man to do so but its nice to hear from someone you know means it. I don't wish you bad things....I don't care enough to wish you anything. I hope you've learned, I hope you treat the woman you're with better then you did me. I hope you re happy and enjoying life but if you re not...4 words...Karma's a bitch asshole

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Time to give Thanks

For me like most people we have a core group of people in our lives who are our "go to people." They help us through tough times, support us, comfort us and guide us. I wanted to take a moment to just thank those special people in my life who made the past two years bearable. Whether it was financial help, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to bitch to or just someone to laugh with. These people were the reason I made it through without breaking even on those days I thought Id never make it through I did...because of you

Mom and Dad you are to put it simply; AMAZING! I could never ask for anything more in a parent. You two have always been supportive, loving, kind, generous and above all you've been present. When Chris lost his job or should I say jobs you never once made either of us feel like we failed. On those days I called or emailed you crying and frustrated you had a way of calming me down and helping me see through the storm. You made sure to remind us both we were just in a rut and it happens to us all at one point and time. We were strong, smart and capable and we'd get through this. You showed me that asking for help is OK. Its not a sign of weakness and that family is there to do just I have always admired your marriage. You have weathered storms, had highs and lows yet have gotten through it all; together. That having a spouse is something to not take for granted and to use this hard time to grow as a couple, to lean on one another and remember that at the end of the day we have family, friends, and above all else one another. You are a big part of the reason we are where we are today and for that I am forever grateful. I love you with all my heart and I'm truly blessed to have the two of you to call Mom and Dad.

To my Brother...You have and always will be one of my very best friends. I have always been able to come to you, talk to you, share with you and knew my trust would never be broken. You have heard me cry, shared in my joy and given me words of wisdom. It amazes me sometimes that for your age you can be so insightful. I love the fact that you seem to know just when I need you. You have a busy life but when you know I'm having a high or a low you drop what you re doing and make time for me. I love that when we accomplish something and I call you to share the news you share in our joy as if it was your own. I love that you make it a point to tell your friends you have best sister ever and that over the years Ive proven theres nothing I wouldn't do for you. Most of all I love that you are my brother and no matter where you are in this world no one can take that away from me. I love you Lots :-)

To my BFF Tina...Wow! This year marks our 15th year as best friends. We have been through so much together. There aren't a lot of big moments in my life that don't include you or some memory of you. You always tell me you look up to me, admire me and don't ever want to disappoint me but what I think you don't know is I feel the same way about you. You have been a single mom for almost 12 years, you've gone to school, kept a job, got your own place, grown as a person and given me the most amazing godson a person could ever hope for. I cant really say you've been there for me "more" these past two hard years because in the past 15 you've always been a huge support to me, one of my loudest cheerleaders and you have the ability to ALWAYS be happy for me no matter what may be going on in your life. You don't act jealous or Catty and even if I'm doing something you may not agree with you don't judge me, put me down, call me dumb or say "I told you so" you just accept me for who I am and love me for it all the more. We were meant to Best Friends, you are a part of my heart and I look forward to the next hundred years of being your very best friend. I love you my TT!

My Lils....We have only been friends for 2 years yet we always say it feels like we've known one another for a lifetime. Thank god I have you by my side all day at work. There were so many moments these past two years I just wanted to run out of here screaming and crying because I had so much going on in my personal life dealing with one more thing was going to send me over the edge. You kept me from going up to the 6th floor and jumping (not really but you get what I mean lol) You were never too busy to meet me "in the back bathroom" so I could have a short rant and pull myself together. I cant count the nights you spent with me texting back and forth listing to me as I texted all the things I couldn't bring myself to say out loud and never once did I feel judged by you. There were days when I didn't know how I was going to put gas in my car and you were the one to throw me a $20 without thinking twice or making me feel embarrassed about it. You treated me to sushi and wine, baked me brownies, left me cards and sent me songs all just to cheer me up, keep me smiling and to keep me from stabbing someone or punching them in the throat ;-) (as Daves says I threaten all the time lol) You are a true friend, someone I know will be in my life forever, someone my kids will know as "Aunt Shannon" or "Aunt lils" lol I look forward to our "Oakcrest Days" chasing hott male nurses around in our Jazzys, meeting with the board to get happy hour extended from one a week to a daily 4pm routine! I love you more each and every day.

To my Aunti Di...What else can I say but that we are truly blessed to have you as our Aunt. From the time I was born you have always been a part of every milestone, event and just a huge part of my life. You are selfless, caring, and have a way of putting so many people before yourself and never think twice about doing so. I love that as Ive gotten older you have also become my friend. You make me laugh even when I think all I could do is cry. I love that when you find something you really like or enjoy you want to share that experience with me/us. Over the past few years with all that has gone on you have never said one negative word, you have been uplifting, motivating, helpful and most of all supportive. You share in our ups and downs as if they were your very own. You are such a special person and our lives...mine especially has been enriched by having you as such a intricate part of it. I love you

To everyone else I call my friend...Thank you all for being you. Thank you for supporting me, making me smile and doing the little things you do each day that may seem like nothing to you but are huge to me. I value the people in my life and I cherish their frienships, devotion and ability to turn my day around with just a smile or gesture no matter how big or small. You are the reason I can face each day and whatever that may bring. Chris and I know we are blessed, loved and thought about. Thank you for keeping us in your prayers. I know god heard you all becasue they have been answered!!!! Love all of you very much

Today is a GREAT day!

Well The title speaks volumes. Today IS a GREAT day! Let me start by filling you all in on the past few years of my life so this blog makes any kind of sense. I'm 31 and married to an amazing man. We met in 2003 after an awful breakup (on my end) (PS that's a blog later to come) we fell in love, got engaged in 2006, married November 24th 2007, bought a house in May 2008 where we've lived ever since. When we bought the house I was and still am employed by a large newspaper in the advertising department and my husband (Chris) was working for a newspaper in advertising as well. 9 months after we moved in and got settled Chris gets news his company is going out of business. WHAT A bad as this will sound I wasn't even thinking about his feelings or the fact he gave his all to this company, busted his ass and now it was for nothing. All I could think was OMG we have a mortgage now, we want to have a baby, if something breaks hows it going to get fixed, oh my god, oh my god OH MY HOLY FUUUCK MEEEEEEE! Yeah I was a mess, I was in full blown panic mode. After a few cigarettes, a call to my mom and another to my dad I calmed myself. Chris is skilled, talented, loyal and smart...he'll have a job in no time. Boy was that not the case but some how I think our brains trick us into thinking whatever it is we need to think to get through and keep us from throwing ourselves off a tall tall bridge lol So as if that wasn't enough Chris decides he hates sales and wants to change careers...Information Technology. OK great I say to him...what does that mean? You take a class, read some books and go get a job in IT? No not quite...there were many classes, many tests and a good amount of money needed to cover it all. Lets speed this up a bit...long story short Chris gets his classes and tests covered by The Dept. of Unemployment, he passes, its now been 8 long months of unemployment, he has these certifications so buddy time to get a job cause momma cant pay all the bills alone. Chris lands on his feet and gets a job working in "IT" or so he's told. That job was nothing like it was made out to be, they worked him like a slave, used and abused him then tossed him out when the job they needed done was complete. GREAT ANOTHER BLOW! however this time money wasn't my main concern. We made it before we'll do it again...this time I was heart broken for Chris. He worked so hard, long nights, weekends dedicated his everything and they betrayed his trust and their "promise" to be loyal to their employees. Their company motto "We aren't employees we are a family" was just plain old bullshit to me now. If that's how you treat your family Id rather be in foster care. I was just sad. Now here we are into May 2010 and again on the job hunt. 2 months later Chris lands a job as an IT tech at a law firm. Lets just say that ended after 3 weeks. Not on bad terms, nothing he did or they did just wasn't a fit. So that brings us to Sept 2010...Chris is back on the hunt. By now my nerves are shot, I'm exhausted yet cant sleep, frustrated that bad things do happen to good people and mad. I was mad at the world, mad at myself for not making more money I was just over it all. Then It happened... a call from a company who would end up changing our lives FOR THE BETTER. It was a man who wanted to interview Chris for an IT position on a military base. He goes, interviews and kills it!! long process short he ends up getting secret clearance, gets a great, stable positon...I mean its the Military...they don't go out of business so no worries about that...THANK U GOD. 3 months goes by and now we are in present day...February 2011. 3 weeks ago Chris gets a call...its a different position on base. One that's 2 tiers higher then he is now and working with the most powerful men and women on base. So another interview and again my baby kills it!! He gets the job, gets a raise and for the first time in 2 years we will have money left over to save, we can afford the baby we have wanted for so long, vacations will be more then just a day trip to the beach or the trip we take yearly but my parents foot the bill. It'll be nice to be able to do things for them. Take them places even if for now its just to dinner. Its more then we could do for the past 2 years. Today is a great day. Tonight I will sleep without waking up thinking about money, today I feel like the bricks that have been laid on my chest trying to bury me and take me down have been broken through, today I feel proud. Proud that I have a husband who has goals, pushes to reach them, wants to support his family, strives to be the best he can be and doesn't let people push him down. Hes taken a lot of ego blows the past two years and its never stopped him or kept him from believing in himself. I believe in him too, now more then ever and I know together we will accomplish anything. From this day forward I will look at him as not only my husband and friend but as a provider, a person I can count on, someone to look up to.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Here goes nothing...

So Ive always liked the idea of Blogging. Ive always wanted to blog and although EVERYONE will tell you I pretty much always have something to say I wasn't sure that I wanted my inner most thoughts out there in cyber world for anyone to read. Now I know I can "lock" my page or only invite "friends" to read but lets face it...its 2011 and anyone who knows anything about computers can take a screen shot, copy and paste or just tell their friends, who tell their friends who then post it on Facebook and the next thing you know your "private" blog is now out in cyber world and you cant take it back. I may be getting ahead of myself, I feel like I'm pretty much saying whatever I may blog about will be soooo interesting that everyone will jump to read it. That's not what I'm saying...what I'm saying is I had to prepare myself to blog. I had to make sure I was "OK" with the fact something I write could get out, could end up being someones Facebook Post, dinner conversation or just someones laugh of the day; I'm OK with that now. If I can give someone something to talk about, if I'm so entertaining you want to post about me, If you find what I write about offensive, hysterical, sad or maybe it just strikes a cord in you...then so be it! I am who I am, I wont change for anyone and like The late great Marilyn Monroe once said "Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."